I thought I’d find more joy in remembering the life of Dave Matthies and regaling his best qualities for you in this article. But . . . it’s still a little too soon for me. Dave wore so many hats in my life, more than any other man really. I’ve struggled with his passing. He was my Father-in-law, boss and then business partner, mentor, friend, golf buddy, lots of hats.

Over the years, as people in my life have passed away, I’ve tried to take time and reflect on what lessons can be learned from their life and applied to my own. Idealistically, a living memorial to them. Depending on the person, sometimes it’s a short list of “do’s” and a longer list of “don’ts” that come to mind! Thankfully, in my Father-in-law's case it was a long list of aspirations, and qualities to pursue.

In the SHDA world, Dave was an ambassador for the association. He loved SHDA and all of you dearly. He proudly served as President twice and he instilled in our team here at Southern how important the association is to our industry. He preached and lived a culture of kindness, openness, and inclusion. He left big shoes to fill for all of us currently trying to steward SHDA as best we can! We’ve lost a lot of sages lately. Not sure how I became one of the old guys all of a sudden???

How could you be more of an ambassador for the association?

How could you help maintain a culture in SHDA where everyone gets a meeting, everyone deserves at least a few moments of your time, and none of the competition is above the friendships?

Dave never met a stranger, and he was quick with a smile. Somehow, he remained very present at all times and under any circumstance. He was always making time to catch up with a colleague or competitor and viewed most as family.

How could you slow down the busy conference week or your every day work week?

How could you stay more present, make time for others, and be a better listener?

Dave mastered the lost art of being silly. He never took himself too seriously. He dressed up in crazy Halloween costumes at the office. He had so many funny facial expressions that put people at ease, often in the middle of a meeting! At family dinners, he would smear whip cream from a dessert on his grandkid's noses!  No matter what title adorned him here at Southern or even as President of the Association, he had a light-hearted way of being that we could all learn from. Is there a more important quality of a leader than having an inner peace that keeps you grounded and centered in the midst of all this chaos? In this crazy world, our people need us to be a source of calm and peace.

How could you be more of a firm foundation and peaceful presence for those around you? And have you considered, sometimes this calls for slowing down and pausing, but at other times it calls for action?

Saving the best for last, Dave was a family man to his core. He loved his wife deeply. He served his spouse better than any man I’ve ever known. He loved his daughters and grands to the moon, and cared for them exceptionally well. He tolerated his son-in-law, he gave me a lot of freedom to learn and grow and make mistakes. He made me feel more like a son than a business partner.

If someone silently followed you around taking notes for a week, would they find that your actions reveal with certainty that your family is the most important thing in your life?

I’ve found it of the utmost importance to Examen this often. I fail here more than I care to admit. Many times lately, as I grow older and a bit wiser hopefully, I've found that my mouth is saying one thing, but my behavior says something very different.

And back to family, it’s easy to tell them you love them, but love is a verb.

Do your actions show them that they are the most important thing in your life?  

I pray that you take some time to curiously wander around this subject with honest reflection and don’t be too hard on yourself. Life is hard. Just dedicate yourself to keeping things simple and practice getting better every day.

Never underestimate the power of being kind and quick with a smile. Practice being silly, and not taking yourself too seriously. Show your family and friends with your actions, that these relationships are the most important things in your life. That is what I will take with me the most from being around Dave every day for 15 years.

Thank you for your time friends, and may God Bless you and keep you.

Dave Swartz